Monday 27 March 2017

Dear Diary...

I honestly feel like that should be the name of my blog at the moment, I seem to post all my exciting and product related bits on my YouTube and this is just a place for my personal inner ramblings. But I suppose that's okay, my blog has always been my personal little corner of the internet where I can just be me.

As most of you know now if you follow me on social media/YouTube, I'm Pregnant! I wish there was some amazing glittery flashing font I could put that in, but that will have to do for you, damn blogger. So things may change around here/everywhere for me. My plan was to get more regular with posting, my social media and youtube presence improved greatly however my morning sickness started. Of course it didn't stop there, I've been bedridden with Hyperemesis Gravidarum which involved throwing up every 15 minutes and not even having the energy to move or type or read or ANYTHING. It has honestly been the worst I've ever felt, and the most bored I've ever been. However that is a different post entirely, good news is after 4 attempts my doctor finally found medication that works for me and I seem to be getting better by the day, yay!

So I'm not going to be posting daily, honestly on here is where I will always post the least as it is such a personal little blog, I may create another blog that is more product/beauty based but I'm not really sure. For now, make sure you are following my social medias and YouTube and come and chat over there!

Bex Renshaw. 
Twitter : @bexrenshaw
Instagram : @bex_renshaw
YouTube : www.youtube.com/bexrenshaw
Website : www.bexrenshaw.com

Saturday 11 March 2017

#YoudNeverBelieve

Over the past few weeks I've been involved in a project called Project Teen, specifically the #YoudNeverBelieve part of this project. The project itself is AMAZING, I'll leave the link here so I'm not babbling too much! 

So I wanted to talk about my past, why this project means so much to me and things I haven't really spoken about. 

The first thing I'd like to point out is I had an amazing childhood, I can't bare to think about what some people's young lives were like and honestly I was lucky to have an amazing loving family. 

However when I was 14 I started really suffering with mental health, a lot happened and I felt like the world was against me. At 16 I got diagnosed with depression, anxiety and panic disorder. I started self harming and I thought the world wouldn't even notice if I wasn't here. I went through years of antidepressants - that actually made things worse, who knew a side effect of antidepressants is suicidal thoughts!? And counselling - which did help but only lasted 8 weeks a time, I went back 3 times which just wasn't enough. I never told my friends, family or doctor about the self harm, I still don't talk about it now, it's the hardest subject for me to talk about. 

These were the worst years of my life, and I didn't think I'd make it out. But I did. I still suffer from depression and anxiety, I can proudly say I haven't self harmed for 15 months and I haven't needed professional help for 12 months. I have such a great support system, my boyfriend is my rock and listens to whatever I need to talk about. My friends and family are just a call away whenever I need them.

I know that #YoudNeverBelieve I had been as bad as I had, it's terrifying to think that if it hadn't been for some friends, I honestly wouldn't be here now. Looking at younger me, I just want to shake little me and tell myself it will be okay, it will get better.  I wasn't as alone as I thought I was, and if I had just spoken out I could've got better a lot quicker.  

The point of this project is to let teen girls know that they aren't alone, there are so many people out there that have been through similar things and got out so much stronger. We need to unite to help the next generation be strong. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are never alone. 

I would love to know your #YoudNeverBelieve statements, come and share them with me on twitter! 

Bex Renshaw. 
Twitter : @bexrenshaw
Instagram : @bex_renshaw
YouTube : www.youtube.com/bexrenshaw
Website : www.bexrenshaw.com